Men’s Basketball Rec League “Bounty System”

Need an edge in your upcoming men’s league? Tired of your basketball team’s lackadaisical approach? Why not follow the lead of the New Orleans Saints and impose a bounty system?

Sure you can’t hit people like in football, but injuries shouldn’t be too hard to come by if you’re willing to run around long enough.

$30 for a sprained ankle.

$20 for pulled hamstrings.

$40 for every player who has to sit out due to smokers cough.

$150 if a guy punches a wall out of frustration and injures his hand.

$10 for debilitating side aches.

$20 for aggravating old “college football back injury” i.e., “I have a shitty office chair at work.”

$15 for every guy who subs out because he’s got to take a call from his wife.

$75 for a lost contact.

$8 for the guy who quits because he’s not getting calls.

$200 for any injury where everybody sits around and talks about taking the guy to the ER, but ultimately decides against it in favor of a bag of ice and going to the doctor’s office when they open on Monday.

About Andrew Sleighter

I'm a comedian from Seattle, recently transplanted to Los Angeles. I like watching sports.
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