“Welcome to our first ever office Fantasy Fantasy League. Thanks everyone for signing up, but it still sounds like there’s some confusion out there. Once again, this is a league where you get to pick and make a team of other fantasy league owners from around the country. You can pick any owner, as long as they’re on our approved list. Your success depends on the success of the fantasy owners you’ve picked for your team.
Here’s how the position breakdown looks. Each team will have…
-3 Fantasy Basketball owners
-3 Fantasy Baseball owners
-3 Fantasy Football owners
-1 Fantasy Hockey owner
-2 Bench spots
(You will also be able to place 2 owners on the diabled list at a time).
Scoring breakdown: One point for each in a head to head.
-Wins: Whichever team has the most total wins at the end of the week gets a point.
-Points: Whichever team has the most total points at the end of the week gets a point.
-Dedication:Whichever team has the highest dedication factor for the week. (Dedication factor is calculated as follows… Time spent checking scores and making roster moves divided by time spent at work or with loved ones).
-Sacrifice-If a girlfriend/wife is lost for any of your owners that’s an automatic win for the week. Same thing goes with getting fired from a job.
Hopefully this clears everything up. Lets make this the best fake experience based off of other people’s fake experience that anyone’s ever paid $600 to sign up for!”