Shaq willing to play any role with Celtics

"The Big Role Player"

New Celtic Shaquille O’Neal said in a press conference Tuesday that he’s willing to play any role for the team, except for the following roles…

hustle guy

practice-hard guy

in-shape guy

doesn’t get a lot of attention but makes things happen behind the scenes guy

plucky defender guy

the guy who says, “come on everybody, listen up” when the coach is trying to make a point and everyone is screwing around

a guy who high-fives Brian Scalabrine

leaves the last slice of pizza for somebody else guy

or

knows all the plays guy

Other than those, Shaq’s willing to fill any role for the Celtics. Oh, he also doesn’t play role-playing games or roll on Shabbas.

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About Andrew Sleighter

I'm a comedian from Seattle, recently transplanted to Los Angeles. I like watching sports.
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