The Ultimate Locker Room Cancer

In a stunning, amazing resurgence, Randy Moss has reclaimed his spot as the world’s number-one locker room cancer. His 3-week stint in Minnesota was a true return to greatness for a player that had become an afterthought the last three years.

Moss in his prime here with the Raiders, is making a return to form.

Of course his comeback started earlier this year when he started voicing displeasure over his contract in New England, which led to his being traded back to the Vikings. What seemed like just a reminder of Moss’ greatness though was actually just the beginning.

Moss alienated coaches and players to the point where he was waived, just three weeks after the Vikings gave up a third-round pick to get him.

Many had thought Moss’ career had peaked in Oakland, where he quit on his team to the point where New England got him from the Raiders for only a fourth-round draft pick. In New England however, Moss faded into obscurity. Playing well, getting along with teammates, obeying his coaches… basically falling off the map.

This amazing turnaround can only be credited to Moss’ determination to be a disrupting force off and not on the field.

The current locker room cancer rankings:

1. Randy Moss

2. Carlos Zambrano

3. Milton Bradley

4. Wade Phillips

5. That arrogant trainer for the Memphis Grizzlies

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About Andrew Sleighter

I'm a comedian from Seattle, recently transplanted to Los Angeles. I like watching sports.
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One Response to The Ultimate Locker Room Cancer

  1. Daniel Boulger says:

    Hoop did not get it’s just due in this. But i guess Sheed is more of a locker room heart disease due to regular post practice cheesecake factory visits.

    Top 5 hoop locker room cancers
    1. Allen Iverson (ball hog and not a fan of practice)
    2. Gilbert Arenas(a gun slinger that would put Farve to shame)
    3. Sam Cassell (he’s ugly)
    4. Sheed (fat waste and would be 1 or 2 if not for the 3 months detroit)
    5. Starburry ( is playing in china so he could be closer to his shoe makers)

    Honorable mentions:
    Antoine Walker (the drew bledsoe of basketball)
    Ron Artest (not even in a sports sence. he’s an actual crazy person)
    Kobe Bryant (rapist, and a dick)
    Michael Jordan (he might be the best but he’s still a dick. ask Horace Grant)
    Jamal Tinsley (see gilbert arenas)

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