2010: What have we learned? And LRC awards

As 2010 wraps up, it’s time to take a look back and examine what the sporting wolrd has learned from this eventful year.

The first thing we’ve learned, you’re supposed to say “twenty ten” not “two thousand and ten.” So if you misread 2010 in the first paragraph, please go back and reread.

But, focusing on sports, 2010 has taught us…

-Tiger Woods sucks at golf now

-Being in jail doesn’t diminsh your quarterbacking skills. If anything it makes them better.

-America doesn’t care about hockey unless we have the opportunity to ruin Canada’s next four years.

-America doesn’t care about soccer unless we have the opportunity to ruin England’s next four years.

-Akron hates Lebron James.

-God hates Cleveland.

-Cam Newton’s dad is an awful negotiator.

– The NFC West was the worst division in history. And that includes the corrupt Rampart Division of the LAPD.

Now, onto the first ever Locker Room Cancer awards. Or, LRC’s. That’s pronunced, (el-AR-cees). If you misread that please go back and reread. These awards are for athletes and stories that led to entries in the Locker Room Cancer.

First, the Locker Room Cancer Most Inspirational Award goes to Lebron James. Looking back in the archives, Lebron inspired more posts than any other story or athelete.

The Tom Clancy Most-Read Award goes to George Steinbrenner dying. The post detailing his last will and testament was by a fairly wide margin the most read post of the year. I would post a link so you could quickly access this award winning entry, but I don’t know how and refuse to learn. Good luck sifting through the archives jerks!

The Refusing to Akcnowledge Title 9 Award goes to me, Andrew Sleighter, for not writing one story all year dealing with women’s sports. A pretty shameful statistic. For women’s athletics I mean. Looks like they have a long way to go in terms of catching up with men when it comes to ruining team chemistry and being a distraction.

And finally, the Locker Room Cancer Sportsman of the Year Award goes to none other than Albert Haynesworth. No athelete has done more in the past year to embody what a locker room cancer is all about. And the post dealing with Haynesworth was one of my favorites to write. Mostly because I quoted Yokozuna, who unbeknownst to me has been dead for a few years. This led to a correction that when ran forced my journalism professors into early retirement and shame.

About Andrew Sleighter

I'm a comedian from Seattle, recently transplanted to Los Angeles. I like watching sports.
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