Miguel Cabrera’s legal mind

Miguel Cabrera's mug shot

Detroit Tigers star Miguel Cabrera was arrested and charged with a DUI last night.

He resisted arrest, shouted “Do you know who I am?” and even took a pull off a handle of scotch in front of the officer. But the most interesting part of the story… he refused to take a breathalzyer.

Now, I think most of us would agree that by that time, you’ve just about made the case against yourself. But yet, Miguel Cabrera stuck to this one piece of legal advice he’s heard either in a rap lyric or from a drunk guy at a party.

“Don’t take the breathalyzer” is quickly establishing itself as one the pieces of legal advice everybody who, doesn’t know anything about the law, knows.

This advice most often comes from your high-school drinking days, Law and Order, rap lyrics (as mentioned above) or a college professor raging against the man.

Here’s the current standings based on how well-known they are. Of course, this isn’t to be confused with how sound the advice is. Whether or not these are true, or are good ideas, has no bearing here.

5. Don’t take the breathalyzer

4. Put it in your trunk. They can’t search your trunk.

3. I get one phone call.

2. Don’t roll on your friends. They’re bluffing anyways.

1. Just say, “I want my lawyer.”

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About Andrew Sleighter

I'm a comedian from Seattle, recently transplanted to Los Angeles. I like watching sports.
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