Mariners Trying Kickstarter To Increase Payroll This Offseason

Finding it more and more difficult to compete in the highly competitive American League West, the Seattle Mariners are turning to the popular fund-raising Web site Kickstarter for help.

“I think it’s time the fans invested a little something into this team,” team President Chuck Armstrong says. “I mean, they’re the one’s who want one of these high-priced players so bad, maybe they should pony up.”

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Icing The Kicker 2.0

Yesterday Andy Reid called a timeout just as New York Giants kicker Lawrence Tynes attempted the game-winning field goal. The kick went wide left. But it didn’t count, because Reid was doing what’s known as “icing the kicker”.

Luckily for Reid, Tynes missed his next kick as well.

While there is no evidence to show icing the kicker actually works, coaches continue to use timeouts to give kickers more time to think about their kick in order to let their nerves get to them.

So icing the kicker doesn’t work, but then what is a powerless coach supposed to do to give the appearance of wielding influence? Here’s some ideas.

-Instruct everyone on your sideline to stare at the opposite goal post to make the kicker think he’s kicking at the wrong end.

-Broadcast soccer highlights on the Jumbotron.

-Use a Voodoo doll and work the legs.

-Instruct your block team to turn their backs on the kicker and sit down cross-legged.

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The Away Game Experience: Watching The Seahawks In AZ

First, let me apologize for the missing post on Monday. We’re all only three weeks into this blog’s resurgence and I’m already falling off the easily attainable goals I’ve set for myself.

Well, as you may have guessed, there are excuses to be made here. Monday was a travel day as I drove back from Phoenix with my brother Mark Sleighter and my good friend Jason Ruff. Along with my older brother David Sleighter, we attended the Seahawks/Cardinals game on Sunday at University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale… where the first 10,000 fans in get a degree in criminal psychology.

I’ve been attending NFL games for a long time, but always in Seattle. I’ve never had the perspective of being an away-team fan in a hostile environment.

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“Butterbean” Wins $18 On Second Half Cowboys Bet

Eric “Butterbean” Esch won $18.20 after betting on the Cowboys to win the second half Wednesday night against the Giants.

The win was confirmed when he Tweeted out a picture of the winning ticket, seen here:

Butterbean wouldn’t say whether he made the bet first, or if it was Floyd “Money” Mayweather, who won $181 thousand on the same bet and has become famous for Tweeting images of his substantial sports gambling wins.

Butterbean says the winnings will go toward paying down the back-salary he owes his entourage.

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NFL Bold Predictions Issue

A new NFL season kicks off* tonight when the defending Superbowl champion New York Giants take on the defendants known as the Dallas Cowboys. And what kind of sports blog would this be without some lame, baseless predictions.

It’s time for our annual, (Did we do one last year?) Bold NFL predictions!  Brace yourselves. They’re bolder than ever. (Although now that I’m thinking about it, this is the first Bold NFL Predictions issue).

Prediction 1: A DNA test will reveal Rob Ryan and Rex Ryan aren’t actually blood relatives… casting a terrible shroud of infidelity on Buddy Ryan.

Prediction 2: After admitting no man is an island, Darrelle Revis will change his nickname to “Revis Peninsula”.

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Frustrated Stan Van Gundy Regrets Taking AND1 Street Ballers Coaching Job

Stan Van Gundy throws his clipboard to the ground in disgust as the ball rolls by him out of bounds. His new point guard just tried dribbling off the defender’s back and lost control.

It’s another day and another dismal practice for Van Gundy as the new head coach of the AND1 Street Ballers. Many predicted his defense-first and team-oriented style would clash with the traditionally flashy AND1 crew, and now Van Gundy has found himself in another seemingly hopeless situation.

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100th Post! Get To Know An NFL Replacement Ref: Bruce Hermansen

If you would have told me two years ago that I’d be sitting here on Labor Day weekend about to write my 100th post for this blog, I’d sit there for a second, do the math, and be underwhelmed. However, there were many who never thought this blog would make it to 100 posts. In all fairness to them, they didn’t have that thought because they didn’t know the blog existed, as it is wildly under-read (in my opinion).

I’d like to thank WordPress, mostly for keeping track of how many blogs I’ve posted as I would never be able to keep track or take the time to count.

Sure it’s been a little inconsistent. This site has laid dormant for extended stretches. Desperate readers checking in only to see a post from 7 months ago still sitting atop the page. Like children sitting on a couch staring out a window hoping every car is their deadbeat father coming back from his 3-year journey to grab ice cream for the family.

Well, unlike that awful dad, I’m endeavoring to be better. Not in regards to quality of course, just in the sense of producing content. Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday there will be a new post on here. You can take that to the bank. That is unless I get a better writing job, which in case I will be taking actual checks to the bank.

But enough of these self-indulgent false promises. As you may have heard, the NFL has announced replacement officials will start week 1 of the regular season. Seeing as this labor dispute has no end in sight, I think it’s time to get to know these scabs a little better.

It’s time for, “Get to know an NFL Replacement Ref” with Bruce Herman. 

Q: What’s your earliest memory watching football?

A: I went to a Superbowl party two years ago. I mostly went just to watch the commercials, but I found the game to be pretty neat. I think it was the Jaguars and Tigers or something.

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